A day to remember

We are all beggars in need of a God to come and be near. I need Jesus, the only true God, to come and share His heart with me. He has blessed me in my 34 years on this earth and I know He has some crazy good things in store. I want to be so in love with Him that all else fades in comparison. It is easy to type it and to want this, but a different issue all together, to see it come to fruition. How do we get close to God and feel the love He has? The word says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to me." Sounds so easy...but yet in my life it might be one of the most difficult things for me to do.

Monday April the 6th is a special day because it is the birthday of Alma Peacher. Most people in this world have no idea who Alma was, but I do. She was a woman who was hired the day I was born and she helped raise me for the next 18-30 years of my life. If one person in this entire world was a true picture of unconditional love it was her. God put her in my life to show me unconditional love and she succeeded. Now, that does not mean she was always fun or sweet or jolly. It just meant that NO MATTER WHAT she was going to love me! She taught me to play cards, watch soap operas, drive a car (she got her drivers license when she was 55 years old and then taught me to drive in a really long pea green car), do some laundry, and eat some good food. It never mattered how old I was, she always called me her baby. She passed away and went to be with Jesus about 5 years ago. April 6th was her birthday and I just felt the need to write about her tonight.

Tomorrow,April 6th, as a reminder of her unconditional love, I am making a fresh commitment to Jesus, to just come daily and sit at his feet to experience Him and His love. The love He showed me through Alma is still available as I sit and worship Him. I am just a beggar in need of the unconditional love of Jesus. So, Jesus I am drawing near to you...you can do the rest.

Help ME

Hello everyone, I am so sorry i never write anything. What is the point of having a blog if I never write. This is sin. Plain and simple.

Thanks

be yourself

Well what does it mean to be yourself?  I think we all need others to help us look inside our hearts to see who we really are.  Once we begin to see what is really inside it is scary but the beginning of goodness.  Thanks to some random people named Jack and Bob (not radio personalities)...I am starting to see who I am.  Feels more free but still so much more.

Here it is wrapped in a tortilla...talk to people, ask them questions, let them ask you questions.  Search for the heart of Jesus inside yourself and things just might change!  Well at least for seconds each day you  might just start feeling alive again.  

hmmmm

Well it is April 11th 2008 and my last blog was February 13.  Talk about major life change happening in a measly two months.  February 13th was one of the last days of normal health.  It was only a few days later that lightheadedness and chest pains took over my life.  Even as I write this blog, chest pains and lightheadedness are ever present.  To be honest, it has been frustrating.  Many days of fear and doubt, many days of tears and prayers, many days of sickness and weakness all combined together.  Through it all I have cried out for God more over the last eight weeks then maybe in my entire life.  I know because of His Word that He is here and present, but I still want healing and deliverance.  He IS bringing it but my patience is running low.  He promises to protect us with His Angels, to be present with us til the end of time, to answer us when we ask questions, to give us the power and authority over sickness and over the enemy.  I know all of this and am experiencing this but I am still feeling empty and frustrated.

There has been a light in the middle of all of this.  God has been present and is close to my heart. Another light has been how He is using Laura to help me understand more and more what it means to be present.   Laura has been amazingly patient through this time and even though relationships are extremely difficult, I have been blessed to have her near me through all of this.  It has been one of the most encouraging and stretching relationships of my life and it is a good thing to be with her.  

I just hold on to Psalm 91 and Luke 10 and 11.  If you have time read them.  One thing I have learned through this and continue to learn is that when we suffer we are much more in tune with the suffering of others.  When I pray for people I can much more deeply feel their pain and pray powerful authoritative prayers over them.  I got to pray for an old friend and a new friend over the past few weeks and both times I knew for a moment that the Kingdom of Heaven came down and collided with us.  It is a great feeling to ask the Lord to bring His Kingdom on someone else and then to watch it happen in front of your eyes.  

What does all this mean?  I really have no clue!  I am not in control, I have no idea what my future holds, but God is my Father who desires good for me and loves me...I have nothing else but Him.  I know this dependence on Him is supposed to be good but it does not feel very good.

I guess more blogs will come...thanks for reading and praying and until next time...sleep well!  

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

good to be back

Well this will be short but it is good to be back blogging after a two year lay off.  It is funny because even 2 years ago I only blogged twice and then moved on.  I think this time I will keep it simple and updated. 

I keep hearing that 2008 will be a special year and I believe it.  So far a new job...new relationship (Laura)...and new D-group...friends have a new baby (Benjamin David McDaniel)...mom got a new job at Dillards...that is only in the first month and a half.  It is good and challenging and fun and hard and inspiring and real.  It seems that to make life happen you have to push through some of the muck and see the beauty that lies ahead...2007 could be considered muck...so here is to 2008...may it be a great year and may we all be inspired by the heart of Jesus!  Until next time...  

light forming in the tunnel

Had dinner with a friend tonight and really was able to talk about things in life. The more we talked the more things became clear in my very foggy mind. He asked a simple question that I believe was given to him by the Holy Spirit and it stirred me. He said, "where do you go and what do you do when you hit the bottom or come to the end of the rope?" OK, I had to talk in circles until it hit me...my place is the son in the prodigal son story. It is a special place between God and me...for whatever reason that story comes straight from God to my heart...I want to be embraced and kissed by my father, God. Just living in that place is all I need...it is not a perfect place but tears form in my eyes and something (kingdom of God like) meets me on the inside and there is peace again. It mind sound elementary but it is the place where God and I most connect. To be completely loved is to just be the son...dirty, broken, hopeless...until the embrace...then peace. Good night bright moon...